The Switch

Michelle and Amanda are sitting in Amanda’s room. Amanda is on her bed, pillow in her arms, Michelle is in a swivel chair next to the desk.

A: I can’t even remember the last time I flicked the switch.

M: No, me neither.

A: I’m kinda nervous to now.

M: Ya I know, me too.

A: It’s not like it makes that big a difference, really.

M: No, I didn’t notice it for the first little while.

A: Ya, it feels pretty much the same, just sometimes, there’s something missing, like it’s good when something crappy’s happening, but when it’s something good, like when I got my test back, you know my math test that I was afraid I’d bomb, and I ended up doing alright, well it felt kinda the same as when I did bomb that last test, it was just like, whatever.

M: Ya.

A: But, now, you know, my mom died and all, and I haven’t even cried, it’s just not right.

M: Ya man, that’s kinda weird.

A: It’s not like I want to feel sad and all, but she’s my mom, it’s just not normal to feel nothing.

M: Ya, it’s like when me and Josh broke up, I just didn’t care, even though we had been going out for like ever and he was my first kiss or whatever. I thought about flicking the switch, but I was too scared, breakups suck right.

A: Ya, I mean that’s kinda what the switch is for right, for that crappy stuff we don’t want to deal with, just makes life so much easier.

M: Ya, I guess.

A: Then there’s Mr. Webber and his, ‘It’s a government ploy to control people.’

M: What a weirdo.

A: Ya, I know, no wonder his wife left him.

M: What? His wife left him? Bet he wish he had a switch then.

A: Ya, right.

M: So like should I get some tissues and chocolate and shit.

A: What? No… I mean, maybe, fuck, I don’t even know what it feels like to be really upset anymore.

M: I know….

A: Do you think you’re going to keep your switch forever.

M: I don’t know… you?

A: I don’t know, I mean, I guess it makes life easier, but it just feels like I’m missing out on something sometimes. I mean people managed before, it’s not like everyone was out killing themselves.

M: But now there’s like no suicides.

A: Ya, but then they keep on saying how music and tv and stuff isn’t as good as it used to be.

M: I don’t know, I don’t mind it.

A: I guess. Hey, do you think you could do it with me.

M: What, flick the switch.

A: Ya, I don’t want to do it alone.

M: I don’t know, shouldn’t I stay like this to take care of you, in case you have a breakdown or some shit.

A: But it’s not like anything will happen to you really, I’m the one who’s mom died, what do you have to be upset about.

M: I liked you mom too.

A: Seriously, come on, just do it.

M: Fine, but you first.

A: Ok, oh man I’m nervous, ok, ready.

M: Ya, just do it already.

A: Ok… did it….

M: Really, how do you feel.

A: I don’t know, normal.

M: Well you have to think of something sad… like you’re mom

A: I’m trying.

M: K, remember how she used to make you cookies.

A: Mmm, she wasn’t big on baking.

M: Ok, well what did you guys do together that was fun?

A: Well, she used to pick me up from skating and sometimes we’d got to mcdonalds and get ice-cream, even though I hadn’t eaten dinner yet. We acted like it was this big secret and we couldn’t let dad know or he’d get really mad. We’d even hide our wrappers in the neighbour’s garbage can so he couldn’t find out.

M: That’s pretty funny.

A: Ya, I know, she could be pretty funny sometimes, but sometimes she’d get really pissy too.

M: Even with the switch?

A: She always used to switch it off, she never really like it.

M: Oh.

A: I feel like something hard’s in my throat.

M: Ya, and your eyes are all watery.

A: I always used to talk to her when I had fights with my friends, and that time Mr. Gaven said I was stupid in front of the whole class, remember that? She went to school and yelled at him.

M: Ya, I remember

A: She was a really good mom, you know.

M: Ya, I know, she was always really nice to me, used to give me cookies when I came over.

A: They were from the store.

M: That’s ok.

A: And now I’ll never see her again, it’s not fair, everyone else at school still has their moms. She won’t be there when I graduate, when I get married, have kids.

M: It sucks… Mark doesn’t have a mom either.

A: Ya, and look how weird he is.

M: Ya.

A: Hey, you didn’t flip your switch.

M: Oh ya, sorry, I forgot…. there.

A: I guess it doesn’t really matter now anyways.

M: Do you still feel sad?

A: Ya.

M: You can always flip it back, be normal again.

A: No, that’s ok, I kinda want to be sad for a little while.

M: You’re weird.

A: Maybe, I just think I’ll feel better about it afterwards.

M: I don’t really feel anything.

A: Well you have to think of something first… Josh?

M: No, that was a long time ago… though now that I think about it, he was a real jerk.

A: He was ok, until the end, do you think he liked Amy before you guys broke up.

M: Ya, I bet he did, the fucker, they started dating like as soon as we broke up, fuck, I’m so angry, what’s Amy got that I don’t?

A: Don’t worry about, he was a loser anyways, don’t you like Jared now anyways.

M: Ya, he’s alright… anyways, nevermind about Josh, you’re mom’s more important.

A: That’s ok, I don’t want to force myself to be sad, it just kinda comes in waves.

M: Ya.

A: I think I have some ice cream in the fridge, want some?

M: Ok.

A: We can see if there’s a movie on TV.

M: Ya, let’s do it.

A: Are you going to flip your switch back.

M: No, not yet, you?

A: No.

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One thought on “The Switch

  1. rosewater12 says:

    Beauty writing, eh?

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